Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Kerja Penglipulara

Ingat kerja sebagai penglipurlara ni senang ke?
Orang kerja engineer jer banyak masa boleh bercerita kat blog ni.Lagi lagi kalau engineer tu baru lepas tunang.Semangat dia tu lain macam.Macam budak baru perasan dia tumbuh ari ari.
Tapi jurujual buku hikayat ngan papan chess kaca mcm aku?Mesti takde masa kan?Paling kerap pon sebulan sekali.Dulu boleh la aku update sehari 2 kali.Masa tu kerja boss.Jaga kaunter tiket bas ekspress.Skang dah jadi salesman buku ngan papan chess kaca ni mana ada masa sgt bhai.Kehulu ke hilir,kedai makan,foodcourt,bangunan Perkeso,IJN,Bank Negara tu semua line aku cari rezeki buat jualan.

Takkan aku nak bwk laptop kulu kilir.Mana nak bawak buku mari mewarna,belajar mengira.Paling azab nak bawak papan chess kaca.Jatuh dah sah saha berderai.Kau nak ganti?Kerja dulu baru leisure..apa?ingat salesman tatau English ke?Baru sebut leisure dah nak berkerut dahi..Okeh,aku cuba la cerita dan update lebeh kerap lain kali.Byk benda nak cerita actually..kerja aku kan approach orang beli barang barang yg aku duk bawak ni kan?So mcm mcm orang la aku jumpa.Nak cerita mmg tak abis.

Baru baru ni adalah persatuan blogger sebulat suara nak pakai terms baru utk blogger yg update blog sebulan sekali.Dorang nak pakai kategori "Blogs that took Jarr to update"...kiranya Jarr tu merujuk kepada sebulan punya period.Dorang tak refer mana mana kalendar Gregorian atau Mayans.Ini dorang pakai ikut sedap mulut lahanat sendiri.Kahkahkah...gampang.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Super Duper Astro Customer Service!

Alkisah semalam aku call Astro.alah Astro yg datang rumah korang letak kuali telinga atas bumbung tuh.Haa berkenaan ngan bill Astro aku lah kan.Nak dijadikan citer maka panggilan aku dilayan lah oleh seorang Customer Service Representative.Benda yang aku mintak sangatlah ringkas,due to some unexpected circumstances aku terpaksa delay payment aku until 25th ni together with the current bill.Dan sekadar general knowledge korang,Astro ni dari time aku register sampaila Adam dah masuk sekolah ni,tak penah sekali ada delay or outstanding.Good paymaster kata orang putih.

Oh budak perempuan customer service sangat berdedikasi terhadap kerja beliau,aku kagum.Semua tak boleh.Ini tak boleh encik,itu tak boleh encik.Ini standard procedure encik,tak bayar this few days kami akan interrupt service Astro encik.There's nothing we can do.Kenapa aku highlight phrase tu?I know how it works and i've been in service industry for ages.First rule,there is "no" or denial or obligation or whatsoever bloody you call it to your customer.Customer Service at a first place mestilah menolong pelanggan mereka yang memerlukan bantuan and not keep repeating same procedure which customers already know.In that situation it will definitely shows that you're telling me indirectly that i'm totally stupid.Aren't you?

Well damage is done.Aku masih berlembut tanya dengan dia is there anyway Astro can help me on this matter?And again,to show her dedication, no sir, there's nothing we can do about it.You have to pay 3 days from now or we will cut off your service.Aku senyum....dengan berlembut lagi aku berkata,adakah dengan kegagalan saya membayar selepas 3 hari itu akan mengakibatkan Astro punya saham di Main Board merudum?Atau 1st quarter nanti Astro akan mengalami major loss atas kegagalan membayar selepas 3 hari?Oh kali ni dia menidakkan benda yang aku suarakan tadi.Aku masih tersenyum,mujur dalam telefon.Kalau face to face,aku rasa dia suruh aku pakai Astro free seumur hidup dek kemanisan senyuman aku tuh.

Aku dengan santun minta nama Manager dia,Zuliha tutur gadis Customer Service itu.Tapi malangnya aku tak dibenarkan bercakap dengan Zuliha,mungkin Zuliha itu anak Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah atau anak saudara Ananda Krishnan yang baru masuk Islam.Who knows kan?Masih lagi tersenyum...
Dan ungkap adik Customer Service itu tadi,pegawai dia arahkan takde apa apa dia boleh buat pasal account encik.Siapa nama pegawai itu dik?Oh maaf saya tak boleh reveal siapa pegawai atasan kami ye Encik.Oh kalau begitu saya namakan saja pegawai atasan kamu tu sebagai Unknown Officer,bisa?.Seperti biasa,senyum itu sedekah walau dia tak nampak.Kalau nampak bukan setakat Astro aku free,jiwa raga dia serahkan.

Sambil dia duk ulang yang dia tak boleh tolong aku dan pass aku pada Zuliha,jari jemari montel aku ligat di keyboard menaip Astro di database sistem client aku.Oh ade beberapa manusia berpangkat duniawi kat Astro yang aku boleh refer.CEO....COO....Director.Coolio!
Dengan perlahan aku bersuara kat adik Customer Service tu, adik,takpe kalau tak boleh tolong.Saya paham kerja adik dan unknown officer adik.Since Cik Zuliha Manager pon tak available,saya rasa saya dah tahu siapa perlu saya refer.I tengah draft email tu Rozana Rozhan,Anthony Yeap dan David Butorac, so just wait for my email and your further action.Sepantas hama adik tu berkata,actually encik nadj, kami.....toooottttttttttt.Aku hanged up phone.Letihla kepit tepon lelama sambil kosentret menaip.


From: Mohammed Nadjmuddean Sent: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 5:36 PM
To: 'Rozana Rozhan'; 'Anthony Yeap'
Subject: Small Complaint
Importance: High

Dear Rohana & Anthony,

First of all thousand apologies for this inconvenience caused. Earlier I was spoken to one of your customer service representatives regarding my outstanding payment.
For your information, you can call me a loyal Astro user since I don’t have any delay or outstanding payment until now.

Unfortunately last month I have one month outstanding payment due to some problem from my side. What I’ve asked your customer representative was is there anyway that Astro can do to prevent from any service cut off before 25th March 2011? Since I’ve told her that I only can make the payment (together with the latest bill) on 25th.

Apparently she and the unknown officer who direct her to give an instruction there’s nothing you (Astro) can do about it. I would like to ask your side to check my account since the vary beginning until now, is there any delay payment or even an outstanding from my account? What I’ve asked here was a little favor from your side to cope with client’s difficulty. Not only keep mentioning there’s nothing you can do and you must pay the bill before the cut off time. Yes, I know all the procedures but what I asked is there any solutions you (Astro) can provide me on this small little thing? Are you going to have a major loss if one of your client (me) having a hard time like today?

I didn’t ask Astro to waive my bill. I asked your generosity to give me sometime until 25th to make both payments (the outstanding and latest bill). This is the first time I face difficulty with Astro and I can consider this as a minor thing to compare to anything big hassle you’re facing everyday.

Unfortunately I don’t have Mr. David John Butorac’s email to include him in this email since he left to OSN (Orbit Show Network) as CEO.

Again I apologize for this matter. It just a small request from one of your customer and the customer service should know how to overcome any situation and not only give standard answers and think they can settle it down. A customer always comes first in any circumstances and they deserve whatever they need from you.

Please look into this matter seriously and not just an email from someone who you think talking crap here. I’ve been in customer service industries and media for quite sometime.

I know how it works. We always look solutions for customer not giving them shit excuses. I know she’s doing her job and so were other people in Astro.
And me, as a customer should be treated fairly.

For any reasons, you can contact me as below.

Okeh english aku memang sucks.So don't bother bout the grammatical errors.Janji apa yang aku nak sampaikan kat Astro clear.Ke aku sorang je yang clear bila baca email ni?Lantak.

Aku pon tekan button send.Selang 8 minit setengah,aku pon tak paham knapa dia tak cukupkan 10 menet je.Direct line aku berdering dengan nada riang.Mcm ada berita baik bunyi nada dering tu.Aku angkat dengan gaya macam orang nak terima berita geran tanah kat kampung dah jumpa wohhh.

En.Nadj:Hello selamat sore!

Salina: Good afternoon, can i speak to Mr.Nadjmuddean please?

En.Nadj:Yes,spikang!

Salina:En.Nadj,sooo sorry to bother you.I'm Salina from Datuk Rozana office.I read your email earlier and thousand apologies for the difficulties earlier.

En.Nadj:Eh it's ok, takde pape.Saya pon nak minta maaf for the complaint.


Salina: En.Nadj, i'm glad to tell u that we don't have any issue regarding your request.We definitely can be lenient with you.Since you're never have any problem with us before.


En.Nadj:Lorr..dari tadi mcm ni kan senang?I bukan minta u waive kan bill i ke apa.Cuma minta until 25th je.


Salina: hehe..tu lah en.Nadj,maaflah pasal customer service tu.


En.Nadj: I don't blame her actually.Cuma as a customer service you're more into how to guide and give your customer solutions and before that you must know your products,system,procedures etc etc..blah blah blah.if you keep telling your customer,No u cant..No u cant..then what is customer service for?


Salina:Tu lah (sekali lagi tu lah)...minta maaf sgt2 from our side En.Nadj.So we're not going to interrupt your service at all ye En.Nadj?Don't worry.After this, apa masalah u can call me direct dekat CEO's office.


En.Nadj:Thanks alot ye Salina, really appreciate your help.


Salina: Sure.Kthxbhai 

Kan mudah kalau dari awal adik customer tu kasi aku ckp ngan Zuliha or refer orang yang lebih atas instead of Unknown Officer?Okeh maybe aku main busuk skit la gegar CEO bagai...salah guna kuasa pon ada.Kahkahkah!
Tapi aku pengguna woi..apa juga masalah pengguna kau kena dengar dan beri solution.Bukan ckp NO NO NO.Dalam kamus customer service takde perkataan TIDAK/NO.

Moral of the story?Ye kalau ada kontek yang boleh digunapakai nak gegar orang orang mcm ni, sila pakai.Buat masa sekarang semua jenis provider atau institution aku ada bila keadaan keadaan mcm ni timbul.Salah guna?Takkkkkkkkkk...cuma pakai sebaik mungkin.Woohhooo..
Nexttttttttttttttttttt.


Friday, March 11, 2011

Ciri Lelaki Soleh & Brader Urban Metroseksual

Dalam zaman yang serba moden ni,payah nak tengok lelaki urban berjalan kat Pavilion or KLCC mahupun The Curve pakai kain pelikat dan berbaju Melayu.Jangan mention serban, itu jauh sekali.Berjalan sambil pegang tasbih?Memang kiamat la kalau ade mamat mamat milennium dan urban buat camtu sambil hang around ngan kengkawan.Siap kena gelak maut ada la.
Tak kurang ade yg mencebik melihat kan perlakuan sedemikian rupa.Anggapan mereka mungkin begini, "Poyo nak mamposs brader ni jln ngan family sambil pegang tasbih mulut kumat kamit berzikir"...atau, "Hek elehh...nak buat benda pahala pon nak tunjuk kat orang..wtf?"..mungkinla..mungkin itu la percakapan brader brader urban,metroseksual yang gah duk pakai kasut Paul Smith,baju Fred Perry dan jeans kepala kain.

Tak lupa juga brader brader corduroy.Tapi brader brader corduroy ni jenis tak suka amik tau hal orang.Mereka grunge.Kalau boleh IC nak tukar location,Seattle.Nampak permainan grunge?
Manakala brader oi oi! lebih suka pandang orang ikut ekor mata.Perangai racist mau kuat bhai!Tak skin la kalau tak racist.Baca Mein Kampf pon tak penah,sebok nak skin sana sini.Puihh.
Brader brader yg kenal Sid Vicious ngan Ramones dari wiki atau paling kodi dengar NOFX pon tak ketinggalan dalam group bawah tanah ni.

Oh group paling besar jangan lupa mention ye adik adik?Ni group banyak nama.Ada group Justin Bieber,paling latest la ni.Ada group Bruno Mars,dgr Grenade dah menggelupur.Group Chris Medina pon ada tapi tak berani menonjol sgt,sebab apa?Ntah aku,kau tanya la mereka.Ni ada satu lagi group tgh naik..senang nak knal..lepak cafe memana mentekedarah WIFI sampai muntah.Yg pompuan dlm group ni kebanyakkannya sopan,pakai tudung tapi seluar baju fit berbonjol bonjol nampak apam.Tak paham aku..tapi tak semua la..yg lelakinya pon sopan,kalau tak jeans GA Blue, JC Benney tu pilihan utama.Paling kuat pon BUM lah senang citer.Baju mesti Polo ade lambang org naik kuda main polo kat dada ngan nombor 8 kat lengan kanan.Amacam?Tau group mana?Okeh sikit klu lagi, kekadang lelaki lelaki ni pakai baretta.Okeh pandai,group Maher Zain.Marah?pergila mamm...

Okeh skang ni group brader brader pegang tasbih,pakai serban,celak yg jalan jalan kat tempat camni pergi mana?Haaa cakap.Mana?
Brader brader soleh ni pon tergolong dalam komuniti jugak.Janganlah discriminate org org mcm ni.Brader2 ni ada hak sama rata mcm orang lain jugak.Oh lupa, bercakap pasal hak sama rata kita skang kat negara demokrasi.So hak tu tak sama, tapi rataaaaa je.amacam?Sosialis tak aku?
Jadi trend brader brader soleh dah pupus.Itu hari ade la 2-3 orang datang singgah masa aku tengah check enjin kereta.Biasala,kerja pondan..cek air ngan bateri.Kah kah kah.
Sempat borak borak kosong pasal duniawi dan ukhrawi.Muda muda lagi brader2 tu..suke aku tgk.Mengajak orang kearah kebaikkan..akhir perbualan salah sorang brader ni gegar aku.

"akhi,ana nak jemput anta ke surau malam ni,insyaallah lepas maghrib kita ada tazkirah sikit..ada jemput ustaz dari kelantan.."

aku dah excited, bab bab tazkirah ni memang aku suka..pulak lagi ustaz kelantan.Bunyi tazkirah tu dah macam wayang kulit kalau dalam dialek kelantan ni.

Sambung brader yg pakai celak lagi, "kita muda muda ni akhi, masa mcm ni lah nak dekatkan diri ngan Dia dan selalu ke surau..."

Malam tu aku tak pergi surau, aku kecik hati betul ngan brader brader soleh tu.Dorang tatau ke aku ni AJK Surau Hidayatul Mustaqimah?Apa kurang soleh ke muka aku ni sampai tak penah nampak aku kat surau tu?

Baru dtg sehari dua dah chop gua jarang gi surau.Malam tu gua layan Mistik Alam Hitam kat rumah dan apa yg gua dgr dari Jaja,dorang makan nasi beryani malam tu.Brader brader soleh siap tapau 3-4 bungkus.Cilaka.Bahagian aku la tu.